Saturday, November 21, 2009

luck

कुछ करते रहे हम, कुछ मुकुँदर ने किए काम,
दिल में रहे वो पर घर किसी के नाम ...

This seeme to be complete thought but cannot complete the lines ...may be later.
-Tushar

12 comments:

  1. no..
    it seems complete to me..
    sometimes shorter are sweeter

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  2. Anonymous3:51 PM

    ucch karte rahe wo, kucch mukaddar ne kiye kaam...
    dil mein humare they wo, roshan kiya kisi aur ka naam...

    kucch koshish b na kari dene ki iss rishte ko anjaam...
    taqdeer par madh sara dosh, munh mod, wo ban bethe anjaan...

    ibadat na thi, thi ek tafreeh, jse ho ek ghoont bhar jaam...
    nasha utra, jse ho guzra zamana wo badh chale aage pane naye maqaam...

    gam b nai, na gila koi apne gunaah ka, na kia us mohabbat ka ehteraam...
    ankit kar apne bewafai k nishaan, begairat sajate kisi aur ka gulistaan...

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  3. Anonymous1:28 PM

    i completed dis....dnt knw hws it??

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  4. Anonymous1:37 PM

    hello,
    really liked this version and completeness...

    specially "gam b nai, na gila koi apne gunaah ka, na kia us mohabbat ka ehteraam...
    "

    Tushar.
    PS: but can I knwo you identity :-)

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  5. Anonymous5:18 PM

    Y u wanna knw abt it??? I do not belong to ny of d chapters of ur life....:)

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  6. Anonymous11:13 PM

    well choice is yours, but I was just curious
    more viwes on blog will help me ...
    -Tushar

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  7. Anonymous6:20 PM

    It ws my 1st attempt at urdu....regarding d views abt ur blog.....frankly speaking i liked nly few of ur poems.....pls dnt mind...m too critical....dnt even lik mine :).....may b wid time ull improve.....btw cn u give me sm tips s even i wnt to start my own blog....n fr urdu writing u cn tk sm aid frm d site learningurdu.com....n if u cn really put sm more time n effort....dn try fr courses in creative writing

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  8. hey !!!
    hete you go...I was looking for someone to say it, "frankly speaking i liked nly few of ur poems." ...
    but a detail on that will help, which one you like and why and which one were not imnpressive with reasons, this really helps one to see how he could have done better ...
    I statred bloggin as I wannted to preserve my random thoughts ...its good if u start one for yourself..reading old posts make you laugh on the thoughts as well as on framing :-)
    -Tushar

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  9. Anonymous3:32 PM

    ok...gimme smtime....will tell u exactly which one i liked n y?....bt yes u shd make it more presentable so dt more readers hit ur blog....let me start my own...may b u cn tk sm ideas frm thr ;) :P

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    Replies
    1. So did you start your blog ? If so please share the link ?
      More I am still waiting for your detailed analysis

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  10. sure , will wait for your blog :-)

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  11. trailer is good. will wait for the movie. write more.

    ReplyDelete